by VLADIMIR McTAVISH
So the dream is over for the time being, at least. I sincerely believed that I would wake up on the morning of 19 September to find out I no longer lived in the same country as Jeremy Clarkson, Piers Morgan, Boris Johnston and Eddie Izzard. But I still do, and it’s bitterly disappointing.
Over the years I’ve grown accustomed to disappointment. I am old enough to remember 1978 in Argentina. Whereas this year, we had the perfectly reasonable expectation that Scotland could become an independent country, back in1978 we were labouring under the ridiculous notion that we could actually win the World Cup. My disappointment now is minor by comparison.
Yes, out the ashes of Argentina arose the phoenix that became the Tartan Army. Likewise, now, we are also witnessing the growth of a new movement, drawing inspiration from the passion, the energy, the imagination and the creativity of the Yes Campaign.
It almost feels as if we won. Yet we lost. Why?
It is tempting to say some voters did believe some of the Better Together scare stories I know someone who voted ‘No’ because he didn’t want members of his family to become foreigners. Well. I like foreigners. And, I don’t particularly like certain members of my family.
What is clear is that many people made their minds up at the last minute. The last polls had it 51 to 49 to ‘No’. So the ‘don’t knows’ must have switched to ‘No’. In other words, the future of Scotland lay in the hands on indecisive numpties.
Either that, or people lied to opinion polls. They frequently do. Polls for Westminster elections always show Tory support to be lower than it turns out to be at the ballot box. Because people lie to the polls. Voting Tory is a bit like domestic abuse. Nobody is ever going to admit to doing it, but statistics prove that it happens.
Another factor was the intervention of Gordon Brown. At the eleventh hour, Better Together suddenly twigged what the rest of Scotland had known all year. Namely that Alastair Darling and Johan Lamont were utterly shit at their job. Brown’s last minute offer of wider powers may well have been enough to swing the undecided.
It shows how blinkered and lacking in vision the rest of Better Together was. It took a man with one eye to see the wider picture.
Another reason that ‘Yes’ lost was down to the throwing of eggs at Jim Murphy. It didn’t happen often enough. That Jim Murphy had an egg thrown at him in Kirkcaldy just goes to show the strength of feeling that was out there, when someone is prepared to queue up for an hour at a food bank to get an egg to throw at a Labour MP. The whole Murphy incident furthermore illustrates the degree to which New Labour has lost its working-class roots.
When John Prescott had an egg thrown at him, he didn’t go bleating to the press about ‘intimidation’. He re-acted with dignity. By panelling the guy who did it.
Over all, there was surprisingly little violence during the campaign for what was such an important vote. Things may have kicked off in Glasgow on night of Friday 19 September. But things frequently do kick off in Glasgow on a Friday night. Furthermore, the violence in Glasgow had nothing to do with politics but everything to do with Rangers fans who’ve been looking for someone to have a fight with for the last three years.
I suspect many of the people attacking ‘Yes’ voters and burning saltires in George Square were the same people who had been on the Orange March in Edinburgh the previous weekend. The fact that the Orange Order should have organised a rally to preserve the future of the Union was itself historically significant. It was the first time in over three-hundred years that the Orange Order have shown any interest in the future.
It is important that we all look forward rather than back. After all, I still have to write jokes about this shit. In the days that have elapsed since the Referendum result became clear, I’ve been struggling with a personal dilemma. When should I stop wearing my ‘Yes’ badge? I’m still wearing it at the moment, and it looks like an act of defiance and pride. In a few months’ time, it may not send out the same signals. But the, who knows what lies ahead in the next few months?
A long road lies ahead and we live to fight another day. To mis-quote that greatest of Scots, Mel Gibson: ‘They may have taken our freedom, but they did not take our lives!’
Vladimir McTavish will be hosting a new political comedy show at The Stand Comedy Club, Edinburgh on Wednesday 19th November. Further details on www. thestand.co.uk